Dear Doris
I’m worried I’m losing my good looks.
I’m a big, shiny black labrador. Wet nose, velvet ears, twinkling eyes, the works.
I couldn’t walk down the beach without wolf whistles from the girls (and sometimes the boys) and human strangers would call out to my owners “what a beauty” “cor he’s a stunner” “you could fit a saddle on him” and “can my dog have his ball back please?”
My life changed just before Christmas when a box was brought into my house by the grandparents.
Inside was a tiny yellow labrador puppy.
I shared my bed, I shared my bowl, I didn’t share my ball.
At least I got the beach to myself and the wolf whistles continued.
All this changed last week when the now bigger YLP joined me in the boot.
I tried to attract my owners attention. Surely something had gone badly wrong. I was sure he would turn the car around when he heard the YLP whining like a girl.
Wrong
Not only did he carefully carry him out of the boot, he gingerly placed him on the sand beside me.
“Ah look at the puppy” “omg he’s lush” “ah what do you call your puppy? He’s delicious”
Nobody wants my ball.
Nobody can see me.
The wolf has stopped whistling.
Is there any hope for me?
Is there life after a YLP
Yours in hope
Jack Roddam Jones
Hello Jack,
I was totally taken aback when I opened the computer tonight to find your message waiting for me, especially as it comes from all the way across the Irish Sea.
Northumberland, in the UK, I must Doodle it I think the humans call it, sometime when I get the hang of this machine a bit more.
Like the advice I gave to Bundy last week, trust me when I tell you that I am talking from experience.
As I wrote on my first ever blog I am 12 human years young, and being a female of the species am constantly fighting back the ravages of time. I’ll get to that towards the end of my reply.
Now in your message to me, you never did tell me your age, but to be honest I don’t think it really matters, age I can tell you is just a number.
You sound as if you have so much going for you from how you describe yourself, walks on the beach these days can be a luxury for some of our other canine relatives, as they either are stuck in large cities or the beaches they have access to are for humans only (Something to do with no proper toilet facilities for us canines I believe!)
Life is all about change, some changes are bigger than others, and even though this new arrival was tiny when he first came into the house, he was and will continue to grow into something that will change both your lives forever.
It sounds like you are a very kind hearted canine, as sharing is caring, and you sent out all the right signals to your new house guest. You still had plenty of free time away from him when you took your humans for a stroll on the beach. I’m sure you thought life couldn’t get any better.
I remember back to the time when I was starting out on life’s journey, I was in a similar position, as I too didn’t have to share my humans with any other canine. Life was sweet. I could walk into any pet shop and come out with anything I wanted & don’t forget this was back in the days where some of our relatives only had 1 toy to play with & that was a stick.
The canine youth of today don’t know how lucky they are. I see them when out for one of my strolls wearing all this fancy headgear, and when I catch up with them for a play date every now and again, a stick is the last thing you see them playing with. Kongs this, Frisbee that…where did it all go wrong ??
This youth full stage that your cohabiter is going though will come and go like the sands of time and at the moment you can’t see the ocean for the sand dunes.
My advice to you Jack, is to mould this young pretender into the wonderful dog that you have grown into. Take him under your lead, and impart all the knowledge that your years, no matter how few, have graced you with.
Just remember when you were his age Jack, all the learning that you had to take on board and isn’t this little pup blessed to have you as a role model. This is after all why your humans went to all the bother of carefully selecting a well bred & properly raised canine companion for you to share your life with. Yes Jack, although it might not seem like it now but your humans actually did this for YOU !
In relation to losing your good lucks, I wouldn’t give it another thought.
You are like a fine wine, that keeps getting better with age, and when it does happen, I’ve heard one of my humans (the one without whiskers) saying that the odd grey hair looks quite distinguished, mentioning some stud called George Clooney or something.
If all else fails Jack, do what I do, stay hip & follow all the latest fashions as you are forever young at heart (It’s amazing what a paisley tie & Karen Millen sunglasses do for me !!)
And finally always remember this, your humans love you just as much now and can’t live without you!
Yours truly
Doris Dachshund
P.S.If you ever plan on coming to Ireland on holiday I’d love to meet up with you & the YLP.
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